Surfing the Spectacle

Gift of the Heart

For Valentine’s Day…

You want to give a gift that will be warmly remembered?

Give the gift of a Kalashnikov AK-47.

You want to say “I love you?”

Say I love you with a Kalashnikov AK-47.


There are lots of things people want. Some of them they actually need.

But few they’ll treasure.

Listen to us.

They will treasure a sweet little Kalashnikov AK-47.


What brings people together?

A Kalashnikov AK-47.

Cops love them. Gangs love them. Terrorists and armies love them.

So will your sweetheart.

And guess what? Kids love them too.


As the poet said….

“Happiness is a warm gun.”

And there is no gun quite as warm as the AK-47.


Many years ago, in a moment of sacred inspiration,
Ivan Kalashnikov dreamt up this wondrous weapon.

And the world has never been the same.

100 million AK-47s around the globe.

And counting!


Can you afford such a splendid instrument?

Of course you can.
It’s cheap in every land.

Do you have $100? Then buy one,
buy two. Spread the joy!


Don’t worry if your beloved
isn’t able to shoot straight.

700 rounds a minute, comrade.
Trust us. Trust the AK-47.

She’ll hit something.


But what’s that you say?

You don’t have a true love? No one will be your Valentine?

Then give yourself a little kiss.
Give yourself a little love.

Give yourself a little Kalashnikov AK-47

for Valentine’s Day.


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