{"id":244,"date":"2014-07-30T13:01:17","date_gmt":"2014-07-30T17:01:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/?p=244"},"modified":"2014-09-01T15:36:34","modified_gmt":"2014-09-01T19:36:34","slug":"gift-of-the-heart-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/?p=244","title":{"rendered":"Gift of the Heart"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n
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For Valentine\u2019s Day\u2026<\/p>\n

\nYou want to give a gift that will be warmly remembered?<\/p>\n

Give the gift of a Kalashnikov AK-47.<\/p>\n

You want to say \u201cI love you?\u201d<\/p>\n

Say I love you with a Kalashnikov AK-47.<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n

There are lots of things people want. Some of them they actually need.<\/p>\n

But few they\u2019ll treasure.<\/p>\n

Listen to us.<\/p>\n

They will treasure a sweet little Kalashnikov AK-47.<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n

What brings people together?<\/p>\n

A Kalashnikov AK-47.<\/p>\n

Cops love them. Gangs love them. Terrorists and armies love them. <\/p>\n

So will your sweetheart.<\/p>\n

And guess what? Kids love them too.<\/p>\n

\"image\"\"image\" <\/p>\n

As the poet said\u2026.<\/p>\n

\u201cHappiness is a warm gun.\u201d<\/p>\n

And there is no gun quite as warm as the AK-47.<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/p>\n

Many years ago, in a moment of sacred inspiration,
\nIvan Kalashnikov dreamt up this wondrous weapon.<\/p>\n

And the world has never been the same.<\/p>\n

100 million AK-47s around the globe. <\/p>\n

And counting!<\/p>\n

\"image\" <\/p>\n

Can you afford such a splendid instrument?<\/p>\n

Of course you can.
\nIt’s cheap in every land.<\/p>\n

Do you have $100? Then buy one,
\nbuy two. Spread the joy!<\/p>\n

\"image\"\"image\"\"image\" <\/p>\n

Don’t worry if your beloved
\nisn’t able to shoot straight.<\/p>\n

700 rounds a minute, comrade.
\nTrust us. Trust the AK-47.<\/p>\n

She’ll hit something.<\/p>\n

\"image\" <\/p>\n

But what\u2019s that you say?<\/p>\n

You don\u2019t have a true love? No one will be your Valentine?<\/p>\n

Then give yourself a little kiss.
\nGive yourself a little love.<\/p>\n

Give yourself a little Kalashnikov AK-47<\/p>\n

for Valentine’s Day.<\/p>\n

\"image\"<\/div>\n

<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

For Valentine\u2019s Day\u2026 You want to give a gift that will be warmly remembered? Give the gift of a Kalashnikov AK-47. You want to say \u201cI love you?\u201d Say I love you with a Kalashnikov AK-47. There are lots of things people want. Some of them they actually need. But few they\u2019ll treasure. Listen to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=244"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":658,"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/244\/revisions\/658"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/surfingthespectacle.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}