We are a thirsty people! Fortunately Nestlé, one of the world’s most profitable corporations, lovingly offers us its wholesome waters. Pumped straight from drought-ridden California, their thirst-quenching bottles of water are crisp and clear…with a refreshing aftertaste of bribery and deforestation.
“Of course the people don’t want war….But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship….Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.”
(Herman Goering at the Nuremberg trials)
11-year-old Gavin Dingman was the talk of the hunting community with his impressive takedown of a rare 12-point albino buck, a specimen estimated to be found in only 1 of every 100,000 births.
In further good news, Gavin’s dad says he will hire a taxidermist to take the carcass and create a full body mount: “It’s too rare and too pretty not to spend the extra money and have the whole thing done.”
Protect the Kids When Driving to the Mall.
What if someone made a pain machine, capable of inflicting unbearable torment from a half mile way? Why then, that someone would have an excellent moneymaker.
See the Silent Guardian by our friends at Raytheon. An extremely useful device for dealing with unruly demonstrators and other problems. Brief video anyone?
“This is the West, sir. When the legend becomes fact, print the legend.”
(Maxwell Scott, newspaperman, from The Man Who Shot Liberty Valence)
Meat Knows Best.
In a most fruitful research expedition, cultural scientist Sacha Baron Cohen takes on the identity of Kazakhstani journalist Borat Sagdiyev and visits a honkey-tonk bar in Tucson, Arizona.
This research continues to produce a treasure trove of excellent data. Note the splendid array of anti-semitic comments on YouTube, the commenters drawn to the footage like lab rats to swiss cheese.
In the wake of a police shooing, protests, civil unrest, and the prospect of a race war, the city of Ferguson, Missouri, sought out a public relations firm to help it with its tarnished image.
A glance at the “team” it selected shows they know exactly what it takes to fix the problem!
“It is amazing how complete is the illusion that beauty is goodness.”
Consider the plight of our earth. Isn’t it clear? Our children need great Christian superheroes. That’s where Bibleman comes in. He’s a lean, mean religious fighting machine and his sacred team will defeat the Evil “Wacky Protester.” Click here to see the exciting trailer! Not only that, you can purchase action figures here. Thank God for Bibleman!