“Don’t kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!”
(Troy McClure from The Simpsons)
11-year-old Gavin Dingman was the talk of the hunting community with his impressive takedown of a rare 12-point albino buck, a specimen estimated to be found in only 1 of every 100,000 births.
In further good news, Gavin’s dad says he will hire a taxidermist to take the carcass and create a full body mount: “It’s too rare and too pretty not to spend the extra money and have the whole thing done.”
What if someone made a pain machine, capable of inflicting unbearable torment from a half mile way? Why then, that someone would have an excellent moneymaker.
See the Silent Guardian by our friends at Raytheon. An extremely useful device for dealing with unruly demonstrators and other problems. Brief video anyone?
“So long as this obscene display was confined to prostitutes and adulteresses, we did not think it deserving of notice; but now that it is attempted to be forced on the respectable classes of society … we feel it a duty to warn every parent against exposing his daughter to so fatal a contagion.”
(The Times of London, 1816, upon the first performance of the waltz at a royal British Ball)
We never run out of ideas!
The authentic NASA recording between mission control and the first man on the moon. Discovered and enhanced by the technicians at the Evolution Control Committee.
Sure, terrible things go on in this world, but look at the bright side — 3.5 billion people live in poverty! Capitalist and all around idiot Kevin O’Leary leads the cheers.
Moral certainty is always a sign of cultural inferiority. The more uncivilized the man, the surer he is that he knows precisely what is right and what is wrong. All human progress, even in morals, has been the work of men who have doubted the current moral values, not of men who have whooped them up and tried to enforce them. The truly civilized man is always skeptical and tolerant, in this field as in all others. His culture is based on “I am not too sure.”
H.L. Mencken, writer, editor, and critic (12 Sep 1880-1956)
Everyone knows how hard it is to stay stylish when you put on your bullet-proof armor. Thank God then for the genius of Miguel Cabballero whose expanding line of protective fashion (all based in Bogota, Columbia, naturally) has really made our lives more splendiferous.
Now if there was just a stylish way to accessorize our sawed off shotgun!